I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
