dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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