do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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