Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
