what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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