Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Found your dick twin last night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
