my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
