She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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