thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
too bad you live with your parents still
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
