Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
