I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
