Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize