sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
