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After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
