so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize