so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
