how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
