she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize