if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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