Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize