The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
