Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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