they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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