there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
