that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
