the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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