I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
