how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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