Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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