what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize