I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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