To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
