Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
