drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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