this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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