She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
