I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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