My room smells like vodka and shame
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
