Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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