I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
