It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
