it hurts more in the daytime
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
worst night to have a conscience
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
