I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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