Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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