return my video game
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
