i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We need to rekindle our bromance
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
