Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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