I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she looked like the before picture.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
