frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
