dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
