So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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