The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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