you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize