I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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