yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
