So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
