The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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