Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
