i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
