He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
