so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
