pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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