So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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