well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
