would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
