Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
