Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
