make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Of course I have a pirate flag
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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