also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
