I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize