i always forget guys have bellybuttons
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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