how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
