dude i'm inner monologue high
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
me + whiskey = a bad person
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
