You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
What drink are we having for lunch?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
