Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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