yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
