I just pynch a tree in the face
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
