i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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